Sanities Requiem

Schooled by Oldschool

2008-12-12T10:34:00.000-08:00

So I set off to work this morning and my ipod ran out of Batteries. I was already tired having to get up at 4:30 for work, and being sick didn’t help. Needless to say I wasn’t in a great mood. I always listen to music to keep me awake on my drive in, and this morning it was especially needed. I have never been overly thankful for my Man-Van, especially now as it nears the end of its life and makes me constantly afraid that it’s going to take me with it. But today was an exception. For those of you who don’t know I drive my parents old van; in this van is a library of about 30 Cassette Tapes ranging from the late 80’s to the mid 90’s. So as I’m trying to get on the freeway I’m digging through the tapes in the dark (I don’t recommend this). The first one I pull out was the Jungle Book Soundtrack….. I threw it in the Back. The second one I pulled out was an album by Michael Card. I haven’t listened to Michael Card for years, but have fond memories of listening to him with my family in the car so I tossed him in the tape deck. The Lord has a funny way of encouraging the heart. The first song was Maranatha Taken from 1Thessalonians 4:13. The Lyrics speak of a Believer’s longing for Christ’s Return….

"Maranatha is a cry of the heartThat's hopeful yet weary of waitingWhile it may be joyful with the burdens it bearsIt's sick with anticipatingTo long for the Promised One day after dayAnd the promise that soon He'd returnIt's certain that waiting's the most bitter lessonA believing heart has to learn

Maranatha,How many more moments must this waiting last,we long for the time when all time is pastA commotion, a call then that will be allThough it's not yet the hourThe minutes are ticking away

Maranatha is the shout of the fewWho for so long in history've been hidingWho truly believe that the sound of that callMight actually hasten His comingFor no eye has seen and no ear has yet heardAnd no mind has ever conceivedThe joy of the moment when He will appearTo the wonder of all who believe

Maranatha, how hungry we are just to see Your faceParousia, to finally fall in one long embraceA commotion, a call and that will be allThough it's not yet the hourThe minutes are ticking away"

These words were particularly convicting to me. I confess that my thoughts are much more focused on things happening in the here and now pertaining to my personal life than they are focused on spending eternity with my savior and eagerly anticipation His return. What a kick in the pants. The Lord also stuck me in traffic for an extra half an hour so I had plenty of time to chew this over. I felt like a kid sent to his room to think about what he’s done. All the same it was very encouraging to meditate on the Lord’s imminent return. But the Lord wasn’t done reminding me of His Work. Another song that really led me to the throne of grace was Known by the Scars…

"Mother Mary cried as she held heaven in her armsFor the shadow of the scar she saw was clearAs her own bewildered baby lay weeping for the worldWhose frightened tears would free us all from fear
The marks of death that God chose never to eraseThe wounds of loves eternal warWhen the kingdom comes with its perfected sonsHe will be known by the scars
For a time He sought to tell the world He was the WayThat God the father had a human heartWith His own holy hands He soughtTo touch and heal their scarsBut they chose to tear those gentle hands apartWhat was there to wipe away the tearsFirm the holy eyes of GodAs He looked upon His one and only SonWho'd never sin, nor lie, yet was crucified
And after they had slain Him and laid Him in the graveAnd the ones He loved had fled into the darkThen His love and power raised HimGod won the victoryBut they only recognized Him by the scars"

There’s not much that will move me to tears, but the Story of God’s Love, Mercy, Grace, and Justice (aka the Gospel) gets me every time. How can we not be moved to Love Christ after His Love for us crucified Him? After He Loved the hands that drove the bitter nails; that cursed and denied Him? How utterly amazing that our savior, the God of all the universe, still bears the scars of His crucifixion as a reminder of what He’s done for you and me. God is working. He has accomplished much, He is accomplishing much, and He will accomplish much. Heaven forbid we ever take Him for granted.

Bangers and Mash

2008-05-15T11:22:00.000-07:00

Welp, we have had our first full day in New Zealand. The Lord was very good to us as we traveled. We had no glitches and everything smoother then butter melting on a bald monkey. When we arrived, two of our host pastors picked us up, Nigel and Phil. They took us up to a lookout point so we could get a feel for the New Zealand landscape; it’s a very beautiful country. Then we went to coffee and talked about the ministry. It sounds like they will find plenty for us to do. After a little more sight seeing we went to the house Jamie and I will be staying at. We are pretty much living in the lap of luxury. Our rooms have queen sized beds, balconies, and internet connection. Not to mention that there is a hot tub here that we have open access to. I’m glad I brought my “togs” (swimming trunks). We had lunch there and then headed over for a tour of the church campus where we met everyone and were shown our base of operation (which is a corner with tables and internet hookups. After the tour Jamie and I went back to the house and got cleaned up for dinner. The pastor we are staying with took us out to dinner at a real Irish pub for dinner. I had bangers and mash which were awesome. The bangers are basically gynormous sausages, we’re talkin like a quarter arm length and the mash is just mashed potatoes with gravy, but the gravy tastes amazing. By this time it was 7:30 here and Jamie and I started to die from the time change. We are basically 5 hours behind and one day ahead. For instance; right now at home it is 11:40am Thursday morning but here it is 6:40am Friday morning. We crashed and burned around 9:00 and I woke up this morning at 5:00… sucks. Be praying for us to adjust quickly. So that’s our day in a nutshell. Stay tooned because I will be updating this blog regularly.

Grace and Peace.

Count Your Blessings

2008-04-29T12:04:00.000-07:00

As the semester comes to a close I am continually blessed by the Lord, much more than I deserve. I went for a drive last night and was struck by just how much the Lord has done for me. Not just what He has done this semester, but what He has done in just the last few weeks.

The first blessing that comes to my mind is my girlfriend Valinda. She took me out to Cicelies restaurant Saturday night on my birthday for dessert. This place is special to both of us because we had out first “real” date there. I say first real date because we had actually gone to Starbucks together before, but that was more casual. As we sat there we talked about things we were thinking during our first date. I don’t think either of us could have foreseen where the Lord would bring us in our relationship just three months later. Valinda has been a source of great encouragement to me this semester. Even as I sit here and type I see the jar of notes she wrote me for my birthday and am overwhelmed by the Lord’s graciousness in bringing us together. On a side note—if anyone reads this and thinks that it is better to be single then you do not understand the worth of a relationship that is pleasing to Christ. There is something wondrous about two people striving after Jesus together and being drawn together because of Him. I would even go as far as saying that for the most part it is how we were created to live being relational creatures. I thank the Lord every day for Valinda

The second thing that comes to mind is my friends. I have been blessed to have such godly friends. I honestly feel as though they are a defining characteristic in my life. If someone was to judge me based purely on my friends, not knowing anything else about me, I would come out looking better than I am.

Thirdly…. I passed my senior comp. exam! Seriously, I don’t know how this happened. I don’t think I would have passed myself if I had been the grader. It really all comes down to the faithful prayers of my family and friends. This is seriously the hardest test in history… right under the MCAT : ) God has truly carried me through this semester with minimal damage…. grades wise… maybe not so much physically, but that’s my own fault.

Fourthly, though not fourth in importance, is my family. They have supported me more than I could have ever imagined. Not just this semester but in my entire four years of college. Even (especially) financially. I would not be here right now if it weren’t for my family’s support (immediate and extended).

Finally, and most importantly, is my savior Jesus Christ. As I look at this life the things I see are the things unseen. Christ has blessed me far beyond the temporal. Each one of the blessings I mentioned above are valuable because they are surrounded by the umbrella of the unsurpassable greatness of Christ. Every circumstance in this semester, in my four years at college, and in my life is lined with the grace of God and this grace makes these blessings of eternal worth. Valinda gave me these verses in my jar of notes, it’s 2 Cor. 4:17-18 “For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.” This semester has been ridiculously hard. This hardship has caused me to look toward my blessings, and my blessings here on earth have reminded me of the “eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison.” What are light momentary afflictions in comparison to our blessings we have in Christ? The Lord has been so good to me here on earth, despite my afflictions. I can’t wait to see what blessings in heaven will be like without affliction! Persevere! It’s only a little while longer. “Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world. And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you. To Him be the dominion forever and ever. Amen.” 1 Peter 5:9-11

Goodness, Gracious

2008-02-14T01:42:00.000-08:00

Sorry it has been such a long time since my last blog. I will try to be more faithful in the future. I was reminded by one of my close friends last night of how long it had been since I last posted. So here we go one month later… Wow a lot has happened in the last month. School has started and everything that comes with it. Just reflecting upon this last month has reminded me of God’s goodness. We truly do serve a good God. I was reading in psalms 103 tonight where the psalmist sings praises to the Lord. I spent the evening matching things that have happened in my life to specific verses. Verses 3-5 speak of His benefits. I could spend 50 blogs talking about all the thing the Lord has done for me in the first three verses, but the one that stuck out to me is verse 5 “ Bless the Lord… who satisfies you with good so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.” this month the Lord has truly satisfied me with good.

A full month ago tomorrow I was blessed to have my beautiful and dear friend Valinda Easton agree to start dating me. Still kind of in shock. Because I am such a goober I know it was only by the grace of God that she said yes… that and my ruggedly hansom features ; ) it truly is satisfying to be in a relationship with someone who loves and fears the Lord. Her heart is always an encouragement to me and seeing the Lord working in her life is more than a blessing. As if that wasn’t enough she’s also witty, intelligent, doesn’t care that I’m a dork (at least not that she’s said), “one of the only sane girls on campus” as one of my friends said, and she makes me look good : ) in all seriousness though the Lord has given more than I could ever have hoped for in Valinda. Pray that I would die to myself daily, putting her first, and that I would always seek to lead her to the foot of the cross. I could stop there and this month would have been amazing, but the Lord was not just good to me in my relationship with Valinda.

One of my best friends on campus, Josh Beakley, and I have started praying every Sunday together for our wing and each other for an hour to an hour and a half. To be honest it was our final resort to things going on within our wing. The week after we started praying the Lord started working mightily. Two of our guys were struggling in relationships and seemed to be stuck. After we prayed both of them took proactive steps to honor God in their relationships. For another guy we prayed that God would humble Him. Just a word of advice, if you pray for this to happen he won’t be the only one to be effected. This guy was not only humbled, he was crushed and broken and the Lord is still working to bring him to a better understanding of his relationship with Christ. This affected his roommate greatly and brought great maturity to the roommate (I apologize for having to be so general, but I can’t use proper names). All this to say Christ is moving on the wing, and even though all these things brought late nights and emotional drainage to josh and I, we are so thankful to Christ for His goodness at working in our guys lives.

My close friend Matt Errington also was blessed with a godly girlfriend. It has been fun to see their relationship mature with each other and with Christ. There really isn’t much that’s more encouraging than seeing your friends in God honoring relationships.
This really is just the tip of the iceberg of the goodness of God in my life this month. I wish I could write more, but I have an 8:00 tomorrow morning. “Bless the LORD, O my soul, and all that is within me, bless his holy name!” God is good!

Grace and peace.

Devoted Thomas

2008-01-13T15:40:00.000-08:00

now that I'm back at school i was able to go to Placerita Baptist Church this morning. Pastor Scott is an amazing man of God, faithful to preaching the Word with authority and with compassion. one of the things i love about his preaching is how he challenges us to let the text speak for itself instead of letting people speak for the text. we have been going through the gospel of Mark and are now in chapter 3 talking about the disciples. i have to be honest, i wasn't too thrilled to hear this subject again. pastor Zimmer, my pastor back in Washington, had just gone through the disciples this summer while i was home. so when i got to school this year i was a little disappointed that that is exactly where Pastor Scott is at in Mark. after today i was thoroughly convicted about my attitude toward it. Pastor Scott was preaching on doubting Thomas today. he read trough several commentaries and they all spoke more than unjustly about the apostle Thomas. and if i was honest with myself i would have to say I've never respected him. i mean in reality all of us who are born again believers today believed without seeing. after the sermon today i came to respect and admire this great man of God that we so often ignore because of his statement "until i see [His wounds] i will never believe." all that we know of Thomas we get from the gospel of John. the rest of the gospels only mention his name. Pastor Scott had his congregation turn to john chapter 11. this is the chapter where Lazarus has died and the people of Jerusalem are looking for Jesus to stone Him. in verse 7 Jesus says "let us go back to Judea" because He had to go and raise Lazarus. his deciles respond in verse 8 "a short while ago the Jews tried to stone you, and yet you are going back there?" but listen to what Thomas said in verse 16. "Let us also go, that we may die with him." what a courageous statement. he's basically saying Jesus i will follow you even to death. where you are going i will follow. i don't think it's a stretch to say either that this was a motivator for his fellow disciples. he pretty much says "guys, put on your man pants, today we are following our king. it may lead to our deaths, but being with Him is better than life." i long for this kind of devotion to my savior. to be able to say i will follow you to my death because i love you that much. Thomas was no coward. he was a man who clung to Jesus, crossing the Jordan, going to what he and the other disciples thought was certain death. that is a characteristic i want to be a description of me. he followed Christ, even to death. but what about this doubting Thomas title. he didn't believe right. Pastor Scott had us turn to Mark 16. here we find out that in verses 9-13 none of the other disciples believed until they saw either. Thomas was just singled out in john. but even there he gives one of the greatest statements about Christ's deity in all of scripture. "My Lord and my God!" John 20:28. this sermon made me view this man of God in a whole new light. we have ignored this man's example for too long. cling to Christ. follow Him wherever He leads you and draw those around you to follow Him too.

Weakness

2007-12-07T20:08:00.000-08:00

As this semester comes to a close I can’t help but reflect upon God’s goodness. It’s funny how every semester I realize how little I know. You would think that college would give you a better grasp on life, knowledge, and things of the Lord, but as I look back on the years I have been in college the more I learn the less I know. I have become a master of nothing except for maybe procrastinating and rationalizing. I say this because in my lack of wisdom, understanding, and common sense the Lord has proven himself to more than compensate for my shortcomings. This semester has been full of unsuspected trials and hardships and I alone could not withstand the pressure. Relationships, school, future, all these things seemed to be a fire beneath my feet. My life is by no means hard, but in comparison to my other semesters this one has been the most challenging. I found myself so week, and still do, not even knowing how to counsel people because I had no way of relating to what they were going through. On a side note, it is kinda ironic that I would want to experience some of the stuff people are going through just to be able encourage them better, and I don’t want to for the most part… but I do at the same time. It’s a paradox : ). Anyway, I have seen God work mightily in my three and a half years at school. I have failed in so many ways; I have made more mistakes than I can remember, but through it all the hand of my mighty savior has not just led me, but carried me. My heart is drawn to 2 Cor. 12:9-10. But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. Powerful scripture. In my years at school I have become weaker than I would like to admit, but through it all I have received grace beyond measure. I am no theologian and I am no great man of God, but from the ministry I have had the opportunity to experience, weakness is a constant factor. However, I have learned and been blessed the most when I am the weakest. I am not made weak for no purpose. I am made weak to display Christ’s power. So here I sit at my computer at the beginning of finals week, right before Christmas, my senior semester, weak and drained. Praise God that he makes us weak. Praise God for making us unable to fulfill what he has called us to alone. Praise God for trials. How often do we complain about being weak? How often do we pray for strength? How often is our weakness not good enough for us? Will you not boast in your weakness? We have the opportunity to display the power of Christ through our weakness. I am proud to be weak for the sake of Christ. God’s grace is sufficient for me; His power is made perfect in my weakness. So I reflect upon my schooling and I say God is good. His Grace has been more than enough. And he has seen fit to make me weak to display His power, not that I am lifted up but that Christ is lifted up in me. All the glory, and honor, and praise be to Jesus Christ who is my strength. I wonder do you take pride in being a weakling so that you might display the power of Christ?

Heroes

2007-11-12T19:41:00.000-08:00

What is heroism? Or maybe I should say “what is true heroism”? Many people have heroes that have accomplished great feats, whether it is a great athlete who has strived above the rest in his skill and hard work, or maybe it is a writer that has made himself great through his literary prowess, or maybe it is a business man that has made it big through his blood, sweat, and tears, or maybe it is someone that has a big name in Christianity like John MacArthur and we think to ourselves “if I were only half the Christian he is I would be okay.” Now for the most part there is nothing wrong with trying to model someone, especially John MacArthur. Even Paul said imitate me as I imitate Christ (but the essence of that is that we are ultimately imitating Christ). But I wonder, is this what really makes a hero? Is this what it takes for someone to be a hero to you? Someone who is accomplished? No, we use that term too lightly, neglecting those that have been truly heroic. I suggest the better term for these people is “model” or in the worst case scenario, “idol.” Now that brings us back to the question at hand. What makes a hero? In Matthew 20:26b-27 Christ makes a shocking statement, “but whoever would be great among you must be your servant, and whoever would be first among you must be your slave” The first part of the definition of a hero is slavery. A great man is called to serve those around him. Not only to serve, but to give himself away to them. He no longer has possession of his own desires and ambitions. Instead he lives for others; doing things based on what is best for them regardless of personal loss. This leads directly in to the other half of the definition of heroism, sacrifice.John 15:13 says “Greater love has no one than this, that someone lays down his life for his friends.” An act of heroism comes at a great price. There is always something of great value on the line when we are called to heroism, but what defines a hero is what he chooses to save over what he chooses to sacrifice. The line between heroism and cowardice is that fine. It will often come down to one choice. If a man chooses to sacrifice another in place of himself he becomes a coward, but if he lays down his life in place of another, or many others, he becomes great among men. Though many may not see an act of heroism our standing before man holds little sway in light of eternity, but for those who do what they are called to do when they are called to do it there is a title that the Lord has promised us as Christians, to be called “great” in the kingdom of heaven. A man who makes himself a slave and sacrifices himself because of his love for his friends, he is great.There was a verse in Matt 20 that I left out on purpose to cite here and it is verse 28, “even as the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many.” This is true heroism. Christ is the ultimate hero. To be like Christ is to be heroic. Are your heroes defined by Christ? Is your life defined by Christ? Is your love for others derived from a passion to die for them? If you cannot die for your friends because you love them, you are not a hero. Heroism is not a title, it is the measure of love you have for someone. To be a hero you must love someone more than your own life. Could you be called heroic? or is there still something keeping you a coward?